justlola!

夢 (Dream)

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Once upon a time, that picture above was my dream. Those two weeks in Summer- six years ago- when my best friends and I had our Java- Bali road trip, we set up our mutual dream while leaving all the burdens behind. “Let’s travel the world freely”. That was what we promised ourselves.

Three years after, the three of us- all were the last year Ph.D candidates- sat together in front of our hotel in Exeter, smoking that one shared cigarette. Our faces were tired and we were clueless about future. Life seemed more complicated and I seemed to totally forget that once I had a shared dream with the two of them.

Today… where am I?

Where is that dream?

Will I want to make that dream ever come true?

I’m tired.

The dream revisits me.

Am I really going there at all?

Eventually?

This is how obsessed I am with Jang Geun Suk

Pretty much myself… hahaha…

japjap-panda:

He smiles:
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Me:
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He makes a funny face:
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Me:
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He sings:
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Me:
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When he does his sexy face:
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Me:
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When he does his amazing kiss scenes:
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Me:
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When he goes shirtless:
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Me:
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When he yawns:
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Me:
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When hes being dorky:
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Me:
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When he dances:
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Me:
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He does absolutely nothing:
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Me:
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(via tvd-hp-disney)

Jang Keun Suk’s new limited single “Castle of Angel” (Japanese)

(Source: youtube.com)

Thank You :)

I came across this “Acknowledgement” page again today as I have been re-writing my dissertation into some smaller articles for publications. Some of the names there have left my life, some are still there… but then again… my gratefulness won’t decrease :). Thank you…

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

 It’s good to have an end to a journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end- Ernest Hemingway

My up and down journey, which shall soon be completed by the defence of this dissertation I wrote, would not possibly reach its end without the abundant blessings of the Good Lord, whom I put my faith on, and the contributions of great people around me. Therefore, these special two pages will be dedicated as an expression of my deepest gratitude.

            In the first place, I would like to extend my appreciation to my supervisors, Prof. Dr. Lilian Fried and Prof. Dr. Uta Quasthoff for their intensive guidance and support. I am so grateful that as a doctoral student, my “Doktormütter” were always the ones I could turn to whenever I lost my way.

            I would like to express my gratitude to the Research School “Education and Capabilities” for granting me with the scholarship and providing sufficient facilities so that I could conduct my Ph.D research project. My thanks also go to the Faculty of Educational Sciences, TU Dortmund, to which I submit my dissertation.

            I could not be more thankful for the willingness and cooperation of all the participants in my research: the kindergartens (TEK DS, TEK M, TEK RS and TEK SH), the Erzieherinnen and the children. I also thank the student assistants: Marie Wolffram, Michael Wienke and Philipp Haumann for their help with translating and transcribing work.

            My life here in Germany would not be as colourful and lively without the warmth of friendships I have shared with my colleagues and friends, the “Dortmunders” and the “Bielefelders”. Life as an international student far away from home would not be easy without their presence. I would like to thank Petra Strähle for her tremendous help starting from my first days in Dortmund. I will always cherish the moments I have spent with my office roommates, Claudia Müller and Marjan Bijani. I have been enjoying so much the talk-over-coffee or lunch with Verena Feldhaus, Sabrina Müller and Vivien Heller. I could not forget either those friends who were with me at the first years: Pham Hong Giang, my ex- housemate: an amazing beef Phõ noodle cook; Zahra Eshmail, the passionate language learner and Ines Möhlig, the sweet companion. I would also like to say thank you to Rolf Strietholt, who with his capacity as the student representation of the Dortmund scholarship holders as well as my colleague has helped me a lot during my last period of the “battle”.

            I will never take for granted the encouragement given by Grace Chng, who gracefully brought me in her prayers each time I was down. I will surely miss the jokes shared by Sittipan Yotyodying, as much as I will miss the dangerously delicious Thai food he cooks. I thank as well Ksenia Kuzmina and Anneta Potsi, for always warmly welcoming me in Bielefeld.

            They said that “best friends are like stars: you might not always see them, but they are always there”. Therefore, I would like to thank my best friends who scatter all around the globe yet have been able to keep encouraging me beyond time and distance boundary. First, I would like to thank my “big sister” and “travelling partner in crime”: Dian Ekawati in Bayreuth, for her enormous support both personally and academically. Then I would like to thank my bunch in Groningen: Ridwan Maulana, Jardi Huzen, Tita Alissa Listyowardojo, Shinta Tan and Klara Kwantoro, for always being my second “home” whenever homesickness kicked me. I thank Kristano Reinhart in Shanghai, for trying to spare his time every time I need his ears and for his messages of encouragement. I would also like to thank my Martini House sisters, Safiye Bayazit in Hamburg and Jutatip Jamsawang in Vienna, for always “having a check on me” even though they are all busy bees. I will never forget to thank Oda Yuvita Astri Lane, my former high school classmate, who was always ready to accommodate me and cook yummy Indonesian food whenever I dropped by to England.

Moreover, I am so grateful for the modern technology which enables me to keep in touch with my big supporter in Indonesia: Theresia Margareth, who has never been tired to remind me to keep fighting for my dreams. Also I would like to thank Michael Ronny Hariman, the IT brain, for the long distant personal support and the technical related support mostly in my times of need after all these years.

I will be forever grateful for the support given by my loving family: my brilliant father, who in spite of coming from a minority and disadvantaged ethnic group has always been such an inspiration to pursue higher education; my great mother for her never-ending belief in me; my prince charming brother whom I can always rely on and my older sister, the super mom for taking care of my parents and her own kids. I also thank my lovely grandma, Oma Ien in Rijswijk, the Netherlands, for her supportive words each time I called her and for being a role model of a life survivor.

            Last but not least, I am so much indebted to the little boy who has inspired me a lot to complete my Ph.D project and dissertation: the little donkey (Kleine Ezel a.k.a. der kleine Esel) himself. Hartelijk bedankt, jongen!

In my end is my beginning- T.S. Eliot

Lola, Dortmund, October 2011

01.01.2014

Shocked… hope that he’ll be able to walk through the storm…